It's the 6th of January, 2010, and I like where I am right now. There's no place I'd rather be then here. I'm a mere sixteen years young, but being away from my family and friends has made me open up my eyes to the world outside my own. I'm currently at Port Macquarie, I leave in 4.5 days and as the numbers get lower, the more I want to cry. Spending time with the person I love is all I want to do right now. I thought that being away from my 'life' would make me open my eyes up to what I really want, and now I know it's Adam.
So what do you do when the love of your life lives 500kms away from you? I don't know. I still don't know how I'm going to work things out with him. We're not even together but it feels like I should be with him forever. It's not necessarily a feeling, more of a need. Taking walks on the beach every afternoon and saving stingrays from death is better then walking across the road from my house to the 'park' where the grass has actually died, and attempted to grow again.
I spent New Years with Adam, it was good. It was also the day I had my first argument with him. But one thing I realise, is that he is a genuine guy. I've had to make time for him and travel up to Port Macquarie, so I could be with him for two weeks, and it's the best thing I've done for myself my whole life. I think that if I didn't, I would have found myself with another temporary lover, and would hurt myself again, and in the end I would end up loving Adam, as I always have.
I feel like I'm myself around him. I am myself around him. He is a part of me, and I am a part of him (hope so, if not i'll chop his nuts off, -giggle-).
I don't know what to call this post, I'll leave it blank. I think I'll be spending a lot more time at Port when I can. This is my last year of school and then there's University after this. Hopefully I'll have a better job then McDonald's and have saved up enough money to buy myself a car and have my P's so I can drive myself here. 7 hours is a long time by train.
It seems like every new post is about a new boy. I guess they've all been diversions and this is the real thing.
I love you Adam.
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